Co Written & Edited By Kiara Want

“I was finally doing what I loved a 24/7, however, the pressure of being in front of a mirror staring at myself all day eventually took its toll on my mental & physical health”

Disclaimer: This blog will contain themes of mental & physical disorders and themes associated around suicide. If these themes may be triggering, please only continue at your own discretion.

Kiara Want, 18 from Newcastle, Australia has been dancing her whole life. From pre-professional dance training to finding her way to Dance For Fun Newcastle, she has endured alot on her journey.

Here is Kiara’s story -

I’ve danced my whole life; it’s always been a huge part of my life. When I was around 12 years of age, I began taking ballet very seriously. I jet set off to dance in New York City at ‘Steps on Broadway’ for some time and I was determined to pursue ballet as my career. It was around this time during my overseas travels, I started to become more aware of the conversations around me often associated around body image, nutrition and dieting. This was a pivotal moment for me as was introduced and exposed to the idea of having the ‘perfect ballet body’ by the environment I was dancing in on a daily basis. Slowly but surely, I began to eliminate certain food groups out of my daily diet routine and soon after I found myself counting calories and weighing myself.

“I assumed I was looking after my body and being ‘healthier’, little did I know that these habits quickly began to develop into an eating disorder”

At roughly 14 years of age, I started dancing full time in hopes to gain a professional dance career. I was finally doing what I loved 24/7, however, the pressure of being in front of a mirror staring at myself all day eventually took its toll on my mental and physical health and my thoughts were consumed with the look of my body. I ended up returning to school and went back to non- pre professional dancing after school, however, by this point my mind was consumed with the thoughts of my eating disorder. The art of dancing which I once loved, turned into a sport which I could no longer stand. I eventually quit dancing all together and never wanted to go back. By this point I was extremely angry at world; I was angry that I wasn’t ‘cut out’ to become a professional dancer.

When I was 15, I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. I was obsessively counting calories, weighing myself and trying to eat ‘healthily’. In June of that year I attempted to take my life for the first time. I was put into a hospital as it was the safest place for me at this point. I was angry; all the control I previously had around calories and my meals was completely taken away from me. During this admission I was put on a medication with one side effect being weight gain. Within months I had gained a few kilos and could not control my appetite like I used to. My world had been turned upside down and my life was a gift that I wanted to return. Fast forward about a year, and as I had gained weight from the medication and was no longer counting calories, I thought I had recovered from my eating disorder. Little did I know that throughout my admissions, I had slowly begun to pick up other rituals to compensate from the control I had lost with my eating disorder. In 2019 I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. My doctor discussed with me that she was not surprised I had developed this as the two disorders are very similar; they both revolve around obsessive thinking and ritualistic behaviour.

Then there was light -

After a 2-and-a-half-month hospital admission in 2019, I took my first class at Dance For Fun. I love the environment Kahli has created and put into this studio. I began to dance not with the goal of burning calories but rather to move and take care of my body. I was no longer focused on my body image and I was surrounded by people who lifted me up and showed me what it once was I loved about dancing. Kahli allowed me to enjoy dancing again. Each class is filled with such a positive vibe and it is genuinely the highlight of my week when I step into that room.

I am not saying I am cured completely or those time sin my life aren’t with me today, but without those parts of my life I would not be the person I am today. It’s been nearly a year since my last hospitalisation and during that year I did a preparatory course at the University of Newcastle, I danced at Dance For Funs charity showcase,. I got accepted in Law school and moved 5 hours away from home to begin my double degree.

| REAL TALK |

Then there was light -

Learn with us.

COMMUNITY

“

“

At Dance For Fun Newcastle, Everyone Feels Like Someone.